arisonas:

ugh. where’s all the GOOD music these days. it’s all just rapping and beibers and directions. i miss the days where i could go into the local tavern and hoist a mighty flagon of mead to a jaunty tune on the lute of a young bard

trillow:

if we’d developed particle weapons during the ronald reagan era we could have called them ronald rayguns but we fucked that up just like everything else

matzoballer:

your mama is so fat that - wait she’s not really fat actually she’s kinda hot… hey tell your mom i said hi

vasneemas:

Start with the most tender, passionate foreplay and when your partner begs you not to stop, dress up and leave, claiming the rest is a $15 DLC.

lolzpicx:

(Source: tommarvolohiddles)